One of the most reliable indicators that things are going well in a relationship is communication. Within this we find two broad branches of the same tree consisting of the verbal, what we say or stop saying and the nonverbal, based on gestures, looks, complicity, etc ...
It usually happens that At the beginning of relationships, communication is usually fluid, moderate, restrained and therefore comes to provide satisfaction to the two members of the couple. You talk as much as you need and say things tried above all not to harm the other member of the couple. Sometimes we we keep certain things for us that we believe are not relevant to avoid what we might call unnecessary confrontation. Over time it happens that what could be temporary, temporary, now becomes unbearable now and that what we used to do for good now is not so much conditioning our behavior and lowering that ratio to support certain issues that are not to our liking .
When something does not work as normal to look for a formula to change it, we look for the change of factors to alter the final result, but in the couple this system is often supplanted by take a stand and keep it no matter what happens immovably. Both know what they want, how they would like things to be, but as much as they do not succeed, they insist on maintaining their position, since changing, not giving in, does not fall within their means. Serious mistake very committed.
It is established in this way a battle between the two in which the increase in irritability will be progressive. That usual ... "if you do something, I answer for 2 and you will do it for 4", and so on infinitely. Little will matter who or why, it will only be worth holding firm with our posture and that ends badly.
This is a type of communication that within the Strategic Therapy model we call mirror communication. Couple therapy is involved in a mirror of problems that bounces from side to side exhausting both physically and emotionally that always haunts us.
An unbearable tension that does not benefit anyone and that only causes continuous discomfort.
If we have to clarify that a relationship between two symmetrical or similar people does not have to be negative as long as we base our relationship on proper communication and correct respect. First of all we are people.
Normally when we are involved in this type of “and you more…” dispute, it is difficult to leave if it is not with the help of a professional who helps us revoke that chip that is predefined in the sum and increase of the proportional damage received by our partner.
Definitely the key piece that initiates the change is to get out of that inexhaustible spiral. Altering the factors the result will be different, we just have to look for the right factor that causes a positive result in our day to day getting a correct tune between the two members of the couple.