When we start a life as a couple we pay close attention to details, to living together, to the discovery of the other and to our way of communicating to the other what we want. As time goes by it seems that the relational dynamics of our marriage are losing the fundamentals of communication.
Communication in the couple travels on a two-way path, allowing the other to verbalize what they feel in all circumstances, keeping in mind to keep an open, empathic and close listening. They also play a fundamental role; Sincerity, trust, respect and love, among other variables.
The sincerity and transparency in the dialogue with our partner, allow us to demonstrate the security that gives us to maintain a relationship at your side.
It is important to be aware that in a relationship there is the me, you and us. Thus, in principle we must accept the particular life of the other through trust and mutual respect. Producing the open dialogue that we all at some time yearn to keep us on a path of constant security and know the terrain through which we will walk.
The knowledge of the other and communication are fundamental to establish a project of life as a couple, not forgetting that people are changing and dynamic agents within the relationship.
It is here, where we realize that the relationship that was maintained in the early stages of knowing each other was maturing because each allowed it.
Communication, knowledge aid and mutual growth, since the points of view of each one are exposed in a given situation, which will help to have a perception of how the other could react to certain situations.
Couples spend a lot of time thinking about where to live, what to buy, the economic status to achieve, where to go out ... and, they forget that in matters of substance the dialogue is lost and the listener worried about the other. In general, we do not understand arguments, we want our views to be accepted by the other, we shout or we simply do not speak, slowly sowing the deterioration of our relationship.
It is important to understand what we want to communicate, so as not to fall into personal interpretations, that they have nothing to do with what they really want to tell us. We must always ask if we do not understand, it does not harm, it enriches us and keeps alive the constant concern for the other.
One of the most frequent problems in communication is to enclose in what one believes is correct not accepting the ideas of others. It is here that we do not really pay the necessary attention, we do not listen and lose the dialogue.
In communication one listens and another speaks constantly exchanging roles, since we all want to have the experience of going through both places. With this we achieve an understanding and we can reach agreements and make equitable decisions, otherwise, it will always be one of the two that leads the pace, maintaining an unattractive relationship for those who do not always share their ideals and views completely.
Finally, each person must keep in mind that the messages delivered within your relationship are part of the confidentiality and respect between them, a third party who knows the information will not help, unless we need professional help to guide and support a communication deficit.
Some practical suggestions for optimal couple communication
- Listen and try to understand without interruptions to who speaks to you, and then give your opinion about it.
- Ask when the message is not clear to you, never interpret a message.
- Try to communicate everything you think is necessary and important, with a lot of respect and clarity.
- Don't get upset, don't scream, don't get madWhen they don't think or feel like you, remember that we all have the right to think and feel with different nuances.
- Remember that it is always necessary to reach agreements with your partner, so that both feel that they are being taken into account by the other.
- Try to solve the problems with your partner, together, between the two, through dialogue, love, understanding and mutual respect.