Briefly

Acceptance vs control

Acceptance vs control



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The blanket on the grass

Sometimes, acceptance is comparable to the experience of being a blanket lying on the grass, which accepts, receives, leaves and raindrops that inevitably fall on it. The blanket does not want the leaves, nor does it tolerate them. The blanket does not resist, nor does it try to attract, nor does it even try to control the leaves. Acceptance could be understood as the desire for a container of thoughts, emotions, memories and other experiences without trying to control them, give them names or change them in any way. Being open to private events that have been struggling to get rid of them is an unsuccessful struggle that has proved useless, being open is like seeing things that are contained in a box. The box does not pressure to contain or not contain things, it simply contains them.

The waves on the beach

We have a large sandy beach in which the waves of the sea end up breaking gradually and measuredly one after another. They have the height or strength they have, they always end up falling apart as if they had never been huge. To do this you just have to be willing to have a great beach that welcomes all the waves while you do not try to control them, but “See the waves as if you were on the seafront”And is involved in what matters in his life. Making room to see the waves from the ride, both the smallest and the ones that are threatening, is just the opposite of fighting or enduring thoughts, feelings and other private events. The latter would be like going down to the beach to try to control the course of the waves, it would be to do something to interrupt the process of natural dissolution, trying to eliminate them, holding or breaking them. Involving in such actions is like being at the heart of the wave, it is dangerous, the wave involves, and from there we can not see anything, just stay at your expense. However, making the price gap, that is, without trying anything to control them, all the waves enter the beach and end up getting rid of more or less sweetness while one takes care, for example, of caring for the plants in your garden, that is, to build the things that are important to one in your life.

Ana Tostado
Psychologist